My God is beautiful..all the time-

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Hear the sound

i slept at 3.30am n woke up at 4.30am. took a photo of the pinkish sky outside the balcony at 6ish am. slept at 7am and woke up at12.30pm. slept at 2pm n woke up at 6pm. There goes my biological clock.. and complexion!! urgent meeting calls for the extremes. video is up n im excited!

SEPT HOLS! hooraayy. 4papers left after this 1week break. im alrdy feeling slackish. didnt read any bio nor chem notes since thurs. hoho. its ok i hv 7more days to study 2 subjects. lucky backsides like claire gets 2weeks plus off-.- ending papers earlier is good to certain extent.

jill ps me tdy! oh well i slept in anyway. lol.

i need a haircut v soon. my hair is SO long tt i cant stand it anymore.

i feel nice sharing things, convictions, emotions with friends im familiar with. been doin that alot with boon lately n gettin ourselves hooked onto Muttons too while studying for prelims. haha.

Teacher's day celebration on friday was full of card-making, notes-writing sessions for our beloved and dedicated teachers.

ok i realise every sentence above has no link to one another. random-ness.

"One step at a time, there's no need to rush.." - one step at a time by jordon sparks, this song rings in my head v often now.

i need a 1mth break to italy n live in an organic farm. or perhaps a getaway to maldives and soak my feet in the sea.

OK this is making no sense. tatas!

take a deep breath and look at the swaying trees outside the window. feel the breeze in your hair and the warmth from the morning sun. observe the yellow birds on the high branches and listen carefully to the songs of nature. when you dissolve yourself into His creation, you will realise how He will always be there.

the Princess' thoughts ;

Friday, August 22, 2008

It doesn't matter anymore

this is my 271th post in my blog. my little online diary that recorded my memories, thru thick and thin it's been here. haha..drama-.-.

In the midst of the tough prelims. i think chem srsly sucks big time la. im kinda disappointed at myself at econs paper. fumbled alittle due to the miscalculation of time allocation cuz towards to last essay was really kinda rush, which resulted in i-don-noe-wad-im-writing. SIGHHh. miss lee, dui bu qi.. i tink its a bye bye to the attempt at maintainin my A=(

i think i can get rather insecure at times. and i think i'm drifting further away, quickly, from the so called -circle- oh well. i don care la actually. but wad i care abt is.. i'm beginning to detect the tint of 'calefare' feeling again when there's 'the 3'. N there's nth i can do about it. it always comes back now and then. N it always saddens me.. its just that i don't say only.

7papers to go. 4 after sept hols-.- nicee. its okay. i want my straight As and im serious abt that. label me as a nerd now i don care. I WANT MY As!! to prove that i can do it.

it somehow feels like it doesn't matter now. it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter to me anymore. which is a good thing. let it be. let it stay that way. no pursuit. no struggle. no longing. no more feeling lost. no more at all. sigh of relief?

i rmb last sunday's msg was good. i always feel that sis jean's msgs can always address my heart issues in a very simple, but impacting way. every single time it felt like God speaking to me Himself. no lavish sermon..but a very simple msg on catching a fresh vision of God. Simple words, simple illustrations but extraordinary touch. i caught it.. i caught a fresh vision of God at the altar. and i want to always "catch".. not remain as "caught".

I've always been the kind of girl That hid my face So afraid to tell the world What I've got to say  But I have this dream Bright inside of me I'm gonna let it show It's time to let you know To let you know...  This is real, this is me I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now Gonna let the light shine on me now I've found who I am There's no way to hold it in No more hiding who I want to be This is me

This is my new favourite song.

the Princess' thoughts ;

Friday, August 15, 2008

There's nothing i can say

i dk wad got over the better of me. i dk why i got so pissed off. perhaps it was the disappointment, it was the shock, it was the unbelievable. who would have thought..? not me definitely. however, i do not have the right to feel all the emotions above. ask me why.. she really don noe why.

Ok so prelims r in ..4days. somebody say (OH MY WORD) pls.

i got a slight fever on wed night.

i could hardly fall aslp for more than 3hrs in total, fighting the heat and the cold.

i got so sick in my stomach that it lasted for the entire of thurs.

i still feel a little sick in the tummy right now. gave Radi8 a skip today.

jill was right. and i think God heard our conversation at the lobby so He decided to reveal to me the broken vase. now i know its a vase and not a heap of 'things'..according to jill. only she will understand what i'm talking about. at least i know FOR SURE it's a vase now.. and its broken.

muttons to midnight is super funny. the ronald-susilo-played-like-crap low song was SO FUNNY. hehe

boon is super sarcastic.. "beauty can fade but a jerk stays forever" HAHAHA i almost fell off the chair.

i think im dead for math and mayb micro econs. oh n chem. perhaps tt's lik everything. LOL.

i rmb when i was a little kid, that every sunday would be kite-flying day=) i love those kites. those pretty kites, multi-colored kites, fancy butterfly kites. and my dad wld always buy me those huge plastic ones tt will never tear.

every situation is like a kite. and we are the kite-flyers.

I looked at my crashed kite.. i looked at BigDaddy.. i looked at my kite again.

"it's okay. everything's going to be alright. Let Me fix this."

the crucial word in the phrase is "ME". let Him..let God.

im going to get my As for As. As!! boon!! let's go for the As!!!

the Princess' thoughts ;

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ouch. ouch. ouch. ouch. ouch. ouch.

it hurts. so bad.

the Princess' thoughts ;

Friday, August 08, 2008

Ignorance is (bliss)

i realise i hvnt been blogging abt "daily life"ish stuff. 1 n half weeks to prelims is freaking me out. haha. oh wells. sch's been rather hectic esp on tuesdays. thurs n fridays r relatively slack except ytd when my lesson starts at 1.30PM and end at 7PM-.-

ok there's lik SO many things i cannot say here. ok happy national day!=)

it's been a mth. i wonder hw time flies past so quickly i don even notice somehw. or probably i couldn't care less to count e days actually. y shld i anyway.. it only makes it harder when u go day by day.

many things in life we cannot know about. that includes little things like conversations between, say ur good fren and another fren of hers, to bigger issues like hw other's judge you or wad really went thru their head at times. I think God didnt give us e power to read minds for a reason. Maybe ignorance is really bliss sometimes when u don't have that much courage, self righteousness or justification or even the simple right to know something. If u can surpass ur own barrier of fear to confront the truth, maybe u hv the strength to face it afterall. On the other hand, u can only leave it to ur own interpretation or simply indifference if u cannot even summon enough guts. People don wear neon signs on their heads which flashes out every thought to e world ard.. if yes.. tt's scary. good at times when u get all .."argh omg wad does he/she mean infact?" and bad when u secretly carry sme thought u wan them unexposed.

wondering wad's going on is one thing.. wanting to noe wad's happening is another. The former might nt lead to the latter if u think it will kill you by REALLY knowing. N e reason y ppl wish they knew certain things usually falls back down to the word "curiosity" or in layman terms "kpo". Or another possible explanation would b the hope to noe things aren't as bad as wad themselves perceived. Subconciously, we all want things to b "not as bad as we think" it is. We wish tt it really is "not too bleak looking", or "there's hope to it".

my mum was telling me one day(in e car on my way to sch) tt hw she suddenly wish she was back in her early 20ties again.. or even as a kid playing in the field. n she asked me if i have ever wish i was back then when i was like perhaps primary school. honestly, not very. haha. of cuz i love those carefree days when i played monkey bars with my frens n hopskotch, but.. to b back in those days my mum dictate wad i wear and get screamed at by my sister all e time.. ERrr no tks. ok i noe besides those superficial things, there's many more tt i love abt right now. and i wan to live in the present so tt i will not look back n go.."eh oh man hw i wish i was 18 again.. cuz i don rmb really living thru one". tt's v sad. don waste ur time away. nostalgia is ok..regret is not.

ok i also wna blog abt smth else but.. i'll leave tt tilll e nxt post. which is.. i do not noe. haha. NITEZ!

the Princess' thoughts ;