My God is beautiful..all the time-

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Let it be memories

He writes in characters too grand
For our short sight to understand;
We catch but broken strokes, and try
To fathom all the mystery
Of withered hopes, of death, of life,
The endless war, the useless strife,-
But there, with larger, clearer sight,
We shall see this -- His way was right.
- John Oxenham

(smth to add) Fri - that little hug. it was like a shhhh-no-need-to-say hug. it was a awww-silly-girl-don-cry hug. it just made me smile la=)

Sat- fun.laughter. city link. raffles city. suntec. aching legs. flashbacks. nostalgia. jokes. E-diot(HAHA). marvellous cream. sitting on benches. departs.

starbucks. maths correlation. bio nervous control. organic chem. ipod. random drawings. staring at passerbys. shu ai's boredom. window shopping. endless waiting. endless cam-whoring. sushi-ed. spastic-ed. coolios.

Sun- "you speak into it." e phrase resounds in my head like an echo. i took the list in hand n i run down it to see the highlighted ones. i stared at it for a moment..

i stared at it again...

n again...

n again...

"[a voice towers over me] would u just stop it?"

but i cant!

"rmb.. u speak into things."

"stop n listen to the answer b4 u run away." God showed me grace and mercy.. i shld show it to some1 else too. God forgave me so i shld forgive. u want forgiveness? u show forgiveness. wad hv i got to gain from the highlighted names? wad credit does it do to me ?

i looked at that name again..

i looked at the pain again..

"do u really wan to b back to square one? u've made excellent progress so keep doin it!"

"[stern command] NAH do it. (hands the liquid paper over)"

i turned n took the liquid paper n started liquid-ing it away.

there's a season for everything.. n perhaps it isnt ours. it isn't mine. it isn't urs. so it just isn't the season. i quote jill - "acting numb towards someone, doesnt mean you dont care for him. Perhaps, just perhaps, it means you care too much."

it isnt an overnight thing to move on. you lost the right to b 'actively involved'.. u lost e right to randomly ask abt things.. u lost e right to noe wad's going on anytime.. u lost e right to treat a person hw u wished u cld.. u lost e right to tousle their hair or lean on their shoulders..u lost e right to poke into their ribs jus to disturb them.. overnight. put a saltwater fish into a basin of freshwater suddenly. it gets a shock of its life n wonders wad's going on. it gets so uncomfortable nt hving stones n other fishes to swim ard it n all the drastic changes. it takes time to adapt[ok in real life the fish dies la but i cant die u noe, jus an analogy].

and i tink.. we really can still be friends=)

the Princess' thoughts ;