My God is beautiful..all the time-

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Pluto-ed

i wonder hw pluto feel for being kicked out of the solar system. for being in it for millions of years and ovenight, judged by PEOPLE, tt it doesnt fulfil the requirements of being a planet and out it goes. like heyyy. if jupiter made tt comment, it can probably swallow tt better. imagine nt seeing its name in science textbooks anymore, nt catergorized under the 9planets, but just a .. star. i feel sad for her. She will always be a planet in my heart. haha ok 'errps' u muz be thinking. many a times we feel lik tt, don't we? but there are always certain ppl in life tt will always keep us in their hearts despite the seasons.

tmr there isnt sch. yayness

iim goin to write sme protected entries. things tt..mayb my closest of frens can read(if they're curious to ask to wan to read). smthings cant be said? then i'll say it but u cant read it.

wad i learn today frm a book: joy of intimacy comes after a level of committment. Define intimacy: to share secrets, our love, our fears, our emotions, or maybe a cup of drink. u wouldnt tell sme1 of ur fears or deepest secrets if u arent close to her rite?? and before u earn tt trust, u hv to put e committment in. skipping the former will only be pure selfishness. life is full of pple who jump ahead of things.

humans r WEIRD. they cause smth to happen, create a mess, n then if all's good too quickly, they get edgy, expecting the all's bad to last alil longer so they feel more 'treasured'. ah plain weirdness. its as if they themselves don noe wad they want.

2weeks plus to prelims n i think i might freak out soon. haha. SAVE MY MATH.

pop! goes my plan on sat to meet up with claire=( BOooo. nt again. oh wells. blame prelims.

i miss my spastic lil sister. ok nt tt little actually. im the little one. haha.

k toodles

the Princess' thoughts ;

Friday, July 25, 2008

Love is a package deal

The secret to loving is living loved. 7:47 principle.

You have a ticket to heaven no thief can take,
an eternal home no divorce can break.

Every sin of your life has been cast to the sea.
Every mistake you've made is nailed to the tree.

You're blood-bought and heaven-made.
A child of God- forever saved.

So be grateful, joyful - for isn't it true?
What you don't have is much less than what you do.

my heart went "aww.." when i read this poem. and my heart went "ahhhh.." upon reading many chapters of e book.

God's view of love is like all mom's view of food. When we love someone, we take the entire package. No picking and choosing. No large helpings of the good and passing on the bad. Love isn't a cafeteria line where u can say yes to the fried fish and no to the fried tomatoes. Love doesn't accept just a few things. Love is willing to accept all things. "love..bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" 1 Cor. 13:4-7.

and you wouldn't noe of such a love if you hadn't receive of it from God. but to many, it's hard to love in certain situations. The angered fren is nodding. the heartbroken mother is nodding. the rejected kid is nodding. Rejection breeds anger. Think about it. you hurt and tt's y u're mad. anger is ur defense mechanism. N rejections r more common in our daily lives than ..(thinks of a lousy analogy) ERP gantries on expressways. one thing i've learnt is tt.. i cannot keep ppl from rejecting me. but i can keep rejections from enraging me. how? by letting God's acceptance compensate for tt.

im keeping tt reminder tt anger is trash to my heart. i would rather load my world with flowers from God=)

'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails'. 1 cor. 13.

Max.L made an interesting pt in his book. try replacing the word 'love' in this bible passage with ur name. EHHhh. u will probably stop at e first few phrases. well i did. haha. No one can meet such standards, no one except Christ. Now try inserting Christ's name in this passgage n see if it runs true.

'Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. Jesus does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud. He is not rude, he is not self seeking, he is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs. He does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Jesus never fails'

Let this passage remind u not of e love u can't produce.. but the love tt we cannot resist- God's love.

everybody say.."woowww.."

revised timetable rocks better! dadadadidoom~

the Princess' thoughts ;

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Holding my heart back together

OK! tdy is sunday.

me: ehh.. did anybody notice tt i was missing tdy?
sis: YAA!
me: *relieves* o.0 hoho yay. pheewww. like really?
sis: YA! duhhh.
me: so they ask y i didnt come?
sis: YESsssss......

stomach flu aint a good feeling. so im skipping school tmr. hooray.

im starting on another book called "a Love worth giving".. by my all time favourite author Max Lucado.

had meeting on ytd which emptied half of my brain cells. HURRR. v productive. v creative. v hollywood. haha. n i've yet to kill ng shu ai grace. im really a v gullible n nice person. NOT THE FIRST TIME LIAO! chewy n boon always succeed in tricking me. the watch incident speaks for itself. nw comes the tp thing.

me: *phone rings* helloO?? ah yes? u call me ah?(fyi: i was feeling faint from hunger n rushing to meet my sis. in e train)
tp: aye! where r u?
me: huhh? on e train?
tp: aren't we suppose to meet at vivo starbucks to study?!
me: *shocks out of e chair* HUH!?
tp: *frustrated* i waited since 4.30 lor! i left a seat for u liao! we said we're meetin right??!
me: *looks frantically at e time which tells "18.15"* OMG! did we!??? when!?
tp: on msn last nite! u wan me to show u the convo?
me: HUH!! IM SORRYY! i didnt recall! where got !?? omg omg.. *panic attack*
tp: ahh nvm la nvm .. *pissed off tone*
me: *stunned* hurrr sorrY! don have lehhh.. where got... huhh.. sorry.

when i finally reached starbucks n saw her laughin her ass off over there. i was suprised tt i didnt got angryy. i was relieved~ REALLY! cuz i was super guilty n worried. wah lauu.. look at wad a nice fren u hv over here! -points to myself- n... wad a sinister fren of mine to play a trick on the poor struggling-to-walk-n-shivering-from-hunger little me. hao ren bei qi fu. see la!

i rmb cy tricked me into believing tt she scored badly for her pw n i gt SOOO worried over e phone telling her nt to cry n all.. n a min later hearing her burst out laughin like mad. -.-

i shall nt b so naive anymore.. hMPH. wo de ren tai hao liao. LOL

boon! ur pptslide almost made me cry. HUrrr! so touching! -hugs-.. this is lik e first time a fren actually did those for me to cheer me up n tell me to stand strong in midst of all this. reassurance n all. aiyoo..touched=)

sometimes, we need to struggle alittle longer n the winter would last alittle longer than expected. Just like how clay needs to be heated in an oven over sometime before it's ready and harden. i think i might hv rushed the healing time too much. so much so tt im too focused on the speed of picking myself up. N i gt checked while readin tt little story of the tea cup. "Not yet"the Lord says.. i was eager to get outta e hot furnace into the cool air once again. all i shld do is to trust that the Lord has His hand on the thermostat..n His eyes on the temperature. the flames will not consume me. the heat will not melt me.. but let faith lie open in e heat for its testing. to let it show of its true colours.

Isn't it true tt faith can only display of itself fully during the toughest times of ur life? isnt it true tt we always turn out to b the strongest at our lowest point? It is during then.. tt we(will be willing to) throw everything else aside n draw close to God.. to dive right bck into the deep waters of His presence. It is when we hv nothing tt we noe tt Jesus is all we ever needed. Take struggles in life as granted opportunities for faith to grow.. for God's love to be manifested.. for you(who might b too 'caught up') to stop n stand in awe of the Lord=) come n noe Jesus n u'll noe wad im talking abt. sometimes God jus need to smack u right bck to where u shld be.. from gettin too proud with ur achievements(without God u can nv get them).. from thinkin u don need Him.. from seeing everything else more impt. Just lik hw a father disciplines his child.

N things u're goin thru right nw might jus b pimple-sized problems in God's eyes. smetimes u even look bck n go.."omg.. y was i so stressed up then?" so yeahh.. rely on His wisdom n never yours. so things r never really..bad. bad is a .. strong word. bad? think again. 2 yrs down e road u might nt think e same way as u did.

mayb i shld write protected entries meant for only me, myself n the trinity to read. cuz there's too many eyes ard n words get analysed way too deeply. passed e meaning or intention it was meant to be when written.

oh well. toodlesss!

we hvnt been talking even like friends..

the Princess' thoughts ;

Friday, July 18, 2008

Out of the norm

TGIF! =) came bck from youth nt too long ago. today's msg was short but heyy it speaks into my heart. i guess it was outta e norm.. never recorded..never accounted b4.. thrown off balance and i hv to get up nonetheless. learn to adapt to it. learn to accept it and grow with the changes.

sch was alrighty. hectic hectic. 4weeks to prelims! Omgg. i need to mug. i need to mug n b a mugger for e nxt few mths. its gonna look like i do not have a life man. but well.. i will hv one once its over=) plannings r alrd in progress=P. ok shuddap n get over ur exams first debz.

it's been 1week plus..to 2weeks alrdy...

i read this "I honestly think women have it hard. We're labelled as the weaker species, throughout time. Since like the beginning, its been the men who are the alphamale. Girls take more... emotional burden than guys. Ultimately, arent we the strongest!? Hate how tears are sterotyped as weakness. Tears arent a symbol of weakness. They speak of things that words will never be close to comprehend. There're 616,500 words in the Oxford dictionary. But so many times, not a single one can suffice." -jill

how true how true. i cannot wait to echo in agreement.

out with my lil girl tdy. had our mcfluffy(she actually did ordered in tt way). sitting at mos burger n narrating a tad bit of it.. and tears started flowing again. 1 week n i broke my own not-to-cry promise.

rach talked abt it tdy.. n instantenously my heart dropped. nt e first time it did. i think i heard the "thump" sound in my chest as it sank downwards. it felt numb again. i was struggling to find words to explain.. or perhaps to laugh it off lik it don't matter.. but all i did was jus looked at boon.. n we exchanged glances. i guess she cld read my mind. i still took up e courage once again to say it. n to verbalise it is like worse than facing it internally. but i kept those tears in.

i read this "When we're in love it always feels like "forever and ever babe" but it actually feels like that only while it lasts. our feelings ebb when we're in different places around different people doing different things. You know, like when i'm fighting a mission in taiwan with my closest buddies... you tend not to feel so fully absorbed into someone as you feel when you're on say a date with her. So as we go from season to season, feelings do fluctuate.

But i feel all over again that love is so substantial it doesnt have to be circumstantial. Though someone else or things make you feel warm and fuzzy in the day, you still go to sleep and wake up being so sure of who you love when the morning arrives. Because if we let days go by without doing so, its so easy to get swept away by the pace and novelty of it all. You understand that while highlights of the weeks are so attractive; they dont cause the girl of your life to fade. This engenders uncertainty and insecurity but thats when you realise how feelings are faded by time if unguarded, prodding us to add on to our trust-worthiness on our part".. -eric

Goddd.. i wish he cld think this way.. but i guess.. he only did get the first para n it nv did continued..

i saw his smile again.

i wonder if i've ever crossed ur mind thru this week. i wonder if our memories did. i wonder.. cuz it sure did to me. does curiosity kill the cat in this case? does it even matterrr....

the Princess' thoughts ;

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Let it be memories

He writes in characters too grand
For our short sight to understand;
We catch but broken strokes, and try
To fathom all the mystery
Of withered hopes, of death, of life,
The endless war, the useless strife,-
But there, with larger, clearer sight,
We shall see this -- His way was right.
- John Oxenham

(smth to add) Fri - that little hug. it was like a shhhh-no-need-to-say hug. it was a awww-silly-girl-don-cry hug. it just made me smile la=)

Sat- fun.laughter. city link. raffles city. suntec. aching legs. flashbacks. nostalgia. jokes. E-diot(HAHA). marvellous cream. sitting on benches. departs.

starbucks. maths correlation. bio nervous control. organic chem. ipod. random drawings. staring at passerbys. shu ai's boredom. window shopping. endless waiting. endless cam-whoring. sushi-ed. spastic-ed. coolios.

Sun- "you speak into it." e phrase resounds in my head like an echo. i took the list in hand n i run down it to see the highlighted ones. i stared at it for a moment..

i stared at it again...

n again...

n again...

"[a voice towers over me] would u just stop it?"

but i cant!

"rmb.. u speak into things."

"stop n listen to the answer b4 u run away." God showed me grace and mercy.. i shld show it to some1 else too. God forgave me so i shld forgive. u want forgiveness? u show forgiveness. wad hv i got to gain from the highlighted names? wad credit does it do to me ?

i looked at that name again..

i looked at the pain again..

"do u really wan to b back to square one? u've made excellent progress so keep doin it!"

"[stern command] NAH do it. (hands the liquid paper over)"

i turned n took the liquid paper n started liquid-ing it away.

there's a season for everything.. n perhaps it isnt ours. it isn't mine. it isn't urs. so it just isn't the season. i quote jill - "acting numb towards someone, doesnt mean you dont care for him. Perhaps, just perhaps, it means you care too much."

it isnt an overnight thing to move on. you lost the right to b 'actively involved'.. u lost e right to randomly ask abt things.. u lost e right to noe wad's going on anytime.. u lost e right to treat a person hw u wished u cld.. u lost e right to tousle their hair or lean on their shoulders..u lost e right to poke into their ribs jus to disturb them.. overnight. put a saltwater fish into a basin of freshwater suddenly. it gets a shock of its life n wonders wad's going on. it gets so uncomfortable nt hving stones n other fishes to swim ard it n all the drastic changes. it takes time to adapt[ok in real life the fish dies la but i cant die u noe, jus an analogy].

and i tink.. we really can still be friends=)

the Princess' thoughts ;

Friday, July 11, 2008

Grace grows best in winter

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.



Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

tThis is so my song pls. totally speaks of wad i've got to say now.

Mon was hell. totally hell. i guess no1 can ever noe hw it felt like except God. and i really learnt SO much from all these that i went/am goin thru. i spent the whole of monday emptying all e tears n all. tks sis! for the lovely daisy=). i barely slept and ate the entire day. and the moment i wake up on tues was wad happened on monday. i almost did tink everything was a dream. every wave tt came crashing on me was in my dreams. but then, after a second or two of rethinking.. apparently it was the reality.

Tues was.. equally bad. that i stil have to pull myself outta bed with a splitting headache and head to school, worse still.. to TRY and be productive and all. which turned out to fail badly. my heart wasnt even in school at all. but smehw i noe i refuse to be crippled till i become unproductive at all like lying at home. so i still took up the courage to come to school. Boon saw it all.. she saw how diffcult and tough it was for me to hang on the daytt seemed like eternity. was it hard for u on monday? or even tuesday? tt ran thru my head. E whole time i was trying to put on a smile .. or at least hold back e tears. everything played like a rerun. shu ai was so nice to sms in e morn. my mum was so nice to cook abalone for lunch. everyone was so nice to me these days.

Wed was not too bad. better. after much prayers and self-organising of thoughts. i was slowly looking at the brighter side of things. boon's letter really cheered me up alot. and i kept re reading it everytime i feel discouraged or so. and really.. like she said.. i don need someone who broke my heart lik tt.. he's not deserving of wad i've put in. its not worth it at all. wad i really held on was perhaps our memories..things we've went thru.. the good ole' days to put it simply. and yeahh.. sure it was tough. hell tough. n i really prayed a prayer of surrendering everything unto the Lord.. to pray for His strength and covering upon me. cried out to Jesus desperately.

thurs morning was the best. God showed me He really did care. He really would bring me thru this. Anything that come to us muz go thru God's permission. nth can reach us without His nod. and I believe He didnt do this cuz its sadistic.. its cuz to show me how true n real He can be.. and how amazing the strength He can give to me.. all i need to do is ask and believe. my mum drove me to sch as usual.. it was a rainy gloomy morning. just when i was begining to think again.. i looked up into the sky and i saw a complete semi circle double rainbow. and Awwww.. it was great. BEST. God noes hw to comfort his children doesnt he? BigDaddy noes best=) rainbow is God's promise=) I had to weather thru the fiercest storms to see the brightest rainbow. n my mum inspired me on this - " wahh..see! so thick the black clouds n yet the sun is still so brightly shining".. ya! indeeed hw true. no matter hw dark ur situation looks.. God reminds me tt the sun is always shining. God, my Sun, is always there. nth can hide His presence.. nth can. nt even the thick black clouds. His sovereignty is still in place.. His majesty reigns. He's in control.. and He's right there in you.. shining thru the black clouds and pouring His warm rays on you.

and i was just thinkin abt how my mum n dad took it pretty hard abt this whole thing. my mum was saying tt it hurts her to see me lik tt. i didnt sleep well.. neither did she. i was sad n she couldnt feel happy too. and i jus thought.. if my mum can too feel hurt on my part, why wouldnt God noe my pain? If it hurts my mum, it mus hv hurt God too to see my like that even more cuz He's afterall my heavenly Father. N tt's when i began to take tt step of faith to really trust tt God noes my situation.. and He's goin to bring me out of it.

And i begin to walk out of this. walk out of the pain. walk out of the tears n shattered heart. to let His joy to fill my heart once again. I begin to see all this as an opportunity to demostrate God's mighty love and strength tt i really wan others to see thru me. God gave me the strength to stand up in 4 days. 4 days is a really short time but i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. Nth is impossible. i didnt wna believe tt on mon. but i did now. despite the short time, It doesnt justify any of [your] actions at all.. n it doesnt mean e pain wasnt deep cuz it hell was. i forgave [you] but tt doesnt justify any of ur mistakes u made. the hurt u brought. none of tt. I took the courage once again to forgive by God's grace. By his power in His name. i almost wanted to make u feel guilty for life for all u've brought to me.. but by God's grace i will not. i'll take this as an opportunity to give Him all the glory and a chance to draw close to Him. I guess it's really in struggles tt u feel God the most.. normally we're often too busy to stop n appreciate Him.

Friday..aka tdy. i stepped into the room n i saw [you]. did it feel good? NO. did it feel awkward? YES. so much so tt i literally jus looked at u n even the smile to at least acknowledge wouldn't obediently come out. thrashed things out.. I thrashed it out. i barely heard it from u bt lik i've said.. it's pretty clear n there really isnt much to say tt will make any difference to me. e worst part came when i had to look at u n hear ur apology. i stopped n stared at e floor for perhaps 2mins. it was SO toughh. but by God's grace i did it anyway.

i quote my sis.. "taking baby steps at a time"..yeah i will. i will. one day i will brush away e awkwardness n all.

i quote boon.."It isn't worth it hanging on to a guy who cannot bear to give up the forest for that one.. cannot commit himself to you, put your feelings, your welfare, above his."

i quote shu ai.. "be strong. you r stronger than you think."

i quote boon quote kenneth ang.."yi ge slum ah"

i quote (shall nt be named).."perhaps u've gain more than u lost out. u've seen tt he is immature."

i quote my sis.."you will find sme1 better and u will b so much better off." (inserts her 'HUR' expression)

i quote e God's promise.." i will never leave nor forsake you."

the Princess' thoughts ;

Monday, July 07, 2008

, or .

hv u ever look at smething, see it drowning, shouted for help but no one actually bothers?

"ahh nth la. it's fine."

"come on! don be sensitive."

"no its really not that way."

how many times hv i shouted for help? waved the red alert flag and try to tell u it's a danger zone once i saw the signs? JUST COUNT. oh quit it. its countless anyway.

i said it.. it was left ignored. i complained abt it.. it was brushed away. i voiced it.. it was not heard anyway. i tried to stop it.. i tried to tell you.. i tried my best.. before everything.. way b4 everything.. i tried.. i pushed thru the currents and reach for you.. shouted till i was out of breath.. so wad? if all these fell on deaf ears.

shu ai gave me a hug today.

my sis gave me a hug today.

nth was said. they just gave me a hug today.

unfair. so unfair. i waited thru the tough months. i never gave up. i never bare the thought of it. and now all i get was a "i've changed. things changed..open to choices. taking another direction" ha ha ... a bomb just landed on my lap. tell me about being sad.. tell me about feeling heartbroken.. tell me about feeling betrayed of trust.. tell me about it.. u can never win me in this. shann noes me now. God noes me now.

the Princess' thoughts ;

the worse thing has happened to me.

the worse thing is having the one u've always love calling you just a BFF..

the worse thing is to have only known after 'quite awhile' .

the worse thing is you're still stubbornly(stupidly) in love with him..

the worse thing is somewhere inside of you don wna verbalise all these out..thinkin that it wouldnt be true if u hadn't.

the worse thing is you feel you're thrown into a fridge forcefully to 'cool down'

the worse thing is there wont b goodnight calls, morning texts for quite awhile or perhaps forever.

the worse thing is that there is no time frame. unendless waiting.

the worse thing is ur heart is in a million pieces..

the Princess' thoughts ;

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Colourful

i rmb gid told me before that 'colorful' when said infront of a mirror, it looks exactly the same as when u say "i love u" (shape of the mouth n stuff). and i thought it was pretty coolios.

Radi8 service on friday was [inserts suitable word which i may think of in e future]. It was..smth different. well to me at least. n i kept thinkin abt this phrase "talk is cheap". ya indeed very cheap. dirt cheap. boon always say words mean nth. Talking is so dirt cheap. pple say things without goin thru their head.. pple say things without thinkin ahead. i always think we shld only say things we wld still mean it down e road smeday.. lik when promises r made. N promises r never really broken.. they just fade away, change or get left on the shelf. It's still there but perhaps e original one nv gets back afterall. quit talking.. start doingg! [ok im nt emo pls.. jus a thought ya noe.]

Sat was coolioss=) THREADING! im officially tramatised by threading cuz it hurts so much. nt the part when they thread e hair away but force of the thread against ur bare skin. its like slicing meat. OK i better stop b4 i scare potential threading customers. LOL. i will always rmb e poor shu ai. haha.

porking session with dvds n cheesecake, mocha frap, macdonalds, green teas n mcflurry was goood=) altho e shows were average EXCEPT 'definitely mayb'. tp n i were mesmerized by the sweet phrases..-.- ok talk is cheap talk is cheap. ah oh wells.. tt girl still wans an american guy.
i shld learn to start believing words said when i see action? or simply hv faith? AIYAA darn.

im gettin quite emotional too these days.. for wadever reason i dk but i don think it's v good for moi. mayb i jus need sme1 to understand wad im goin thru right nw.

today was funnny. had a good laugh at kelvin n his narration on the cup-soccer game. LOL. muz try it out sme day.

did i mention i made myself an handphone sock? i tink its cute. and the furry-ness is slowly dying down.. mayb cuz its forming lil furrballs nw. haha. hey but it has my name on it so it's personalized=) tweet tweet!

K tata.

So breathe in so deep 
Breathe me in 
I’m yours to keep 

And hold onto your words 
‘Cause talk is cheap 
And remember me tonight 
When you’re asleep

the Princess' thoughts ;

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Don't just let Him save you.. let Him change you.

hmmm. its been a pretty dramatic week. emotionally, academically(tons of consolidations n revision work), physically.

i saw you and u turned away. the point isn't too much on tt but more on the hand you were holding.

i guess i will never forget the call on sunday night. the call that lasted for 2.5hrs till 1. and i will never forget tt sms i receive today at 10am in the morning in midst of math lecture. the call did impacted me alot.. impacted us alot. my heart seemed to take a turn into a different direction. and it kept me wondering for awhile if it's insecurity..for i do not noe if it's really God intended. and Bigdaddy gave a there-you-go-again look at my pouty face. Today He sent me the see-you're-right-about-e-signs sign. a sign to reconfirm the signs.. for insecure pple like me, God gives customized signs and He took the steering wheel of my heart n shove my soul back into place. haha. im amazed at how Bigdaddy noes me. I looked at the sms, dumb founded.. n told myself.. yes i shldnt give up. we shouldnt. and Thank God we didnt. we discovered smth diff abt each other with hearts opened. i shall take tt as smth good=)

i was reading Shu ai's blog n she talked abt the wall again. yes the wall. now it seemed clearer and we start to verbalise our view on that wall..which existed for who noes hw long. If it takes David to kill Goliath with just stones.. God can help us to crumble that wall with perhaps.. a handful of sand. Note: with God's help.

Sch's gettin busy n pple are gettin stressed with things n all. Im lucky enough to have my mum to fetch me home from sch everyday. my frens always complain abt hw bless i am=) like i would hop into the passenger seat, buckled up n on goes the ride home. normally, i would lie back n enjoy the air con or perhaps take a power nap. It will be insane for me to go.. "hey mum i tink u shld take the PIE then turn to.. oh no no.. maybe there's a jam on that road.. go by Toa payoh instead" .. and get all stressed up thinkin which route to go. she's been driving for almost twice as long as i've lived and im telling her wad to do!!? ... God is telling u the same thing too..

God's been in control of the universe and how the stars work and now u're telling Him abt wad move to take in ur situation? smtimes, we get caught in btwn wad is and wad will be. we get frustrated abt our postions, neither here nor there. why nt buckled up and take the passenger seat? why not let God be the driver? don't snatch it from God.. you'll probably end up ramming into a tree. don't b too eager to noe wad's ahead and just enjoy the security He provides.

Of cuz.. we get weary.. tired.. when will all e exams end? when will my mum stop nagging? when will the stupid army life stop? isnt it about time to cease the endless work? .. let ur acid-inducing days prompt thoughts of unending peace. "Let heaven fill yr thoughts. Do not think only abt the things down here on earth"(Col. 3:2). Blessings and burdens. Gifts stir homeward longings. so do struggles. look to God for rest.. Drink deeply and hydrate urself in His Spirit to keep u strong day by day.

As much as i can nag.. i can scold.. or i can be gentle n nice. It's all about u and ur decisions. its abt you and God. its about you and making a difference and effort not to conform. I wan to nag no more.. i wan to scold no more(tt's y i didnt confront u at all, which i wld hv perhaps 1 year ago) ..for i have done tt for who noes hw many times. but i wan to care.. even if in little ways i noe hw to. it may nt be tt ideal way u wld think i care.. but im telling u i do. i don wan to feed u with mere attention tt wont make u grow.

ok there's Radi8 later=) hooray. n youth day holiday on monday. all youths say yay=) haha.

the Princess' thoughts ;