My God is beautiful..all the time-

Friday, March 28, 2008

So just like it sparkle

so.. it has been decided.. well I hv decided.

4 waves of outings on 4 days with 4 diff grps of impt pple in my life. (call me lame bt this is so far the best plan)

5th April - BBQ wif e class folks over at my place n smth else b4 tt=) rachhie n i.

11th april - (actual birthdate) pure indulgence n sinful dessert n tea session for all we want with shann n jill.

12th april - AHEMmm~

19th april - claire n ning at Timbre for dinner n late night chill out

ok mayb 13th april night wld b dinner wif family.

disclaimer: u r definitely considered impt too even if u're nt part of the above. don emo. i still love whoever u are=)

n coolios banana-ly.. my class has MANY april babies.. scarily born too within the same week. hohoho. 7th, 10th, 11th, n 12th. how's tt??? COOLLL. consecutive smemore for the last three! omgg.

okieesss. im really excited!! NO pang-sehing last min lest i throw u into the dustbin.

boon refuse to tell me exact answers for e qns i asked her regardin my present.

me: can eat anot?
boon: if u want to..*gives a stupid smile*
me: -.- last yr u bought me a pencil case u also say can eat lor... -.-||
boon: HAHAHAHA... really wad. u wan to eat, eat la!

ERPPPS. LOLLL roflmao.

cy n rach r also actin suspicious. MmmMmm. oh wells.. Smiless=D. ah crap.. i stil hv no idea wad to buy for rachie. oh nt forgttin jill.. i jus read her blog n it makes me excited wnting to noe wad's she is givin me. hehe

i LOVEEEE presents to bitssss! i love receiving gifts. meh hehh. esp on bdays. u gt showered wif gifts or even satisfy ur unreasonable demands jus cuz u're e 'biggest' on tt day=)

im kinda scared of turnin 18 too..altho being 18 opens u to loads of other new things in life such as..driving! HEHE. bt it too brings u a wave of unwanted burdens. dn treat me lk a 18 pls?? haha. im nt readyyyy. k.. nw cmes a dilemma whereby in certain circumstances u wish u're deservingly treated lk an adult. freedom of choice in layman's term. IRONYYY. [when i get my license, i'm so gna creep outta bed one night n secretly spray paint e xiaohuang hot pink while my sister is aslp =P] hohoho*evil grin*

i was lyin in bed last nite while waitin for a call. smehw, memories brought me bck to 4 yrs ago when i was still a 14 yr old kid. i sat there lookin at tt smile on u. hw sweet i thought it was, beamin frm ur face. i didnt tink too deeply on y u were smiling.. jus quietly lookin at u lik hw whenever i hv e chance to. lookin at u in a way so subtle tt i doubt any1 realises. in fact, neither did i noticed. u can say it seemed lik a child lookin at e colourful candies of the huge candy shop across e street thru e glass display. she wasnt tinkin of hving it..all she did was merely in awe of the splendour of colours. nth was on my mind too.. i was jus engrossed in that smile of urs. only moments later my heart felt a lil tighter when i overheard wad made u smile. i sure did feel my heart skipped a beat.. u can call tt a tint of disappointment. nt to e extent of feelin upset nor indifference. similiarly to smth tt jerks u up frm a sweet dream. it all happened in seconds. as i turned my head away, smth tugs at my heart.. wishing tt smeday i may become e reason behind ur smiles=) (k i dk y i've gt this urge to type all this. well.. it's still smth i'll nv forget. n i wldnt hv dared to say these 4yrs ago).

updates!

last sat: out wif shu ai 4 a talk cum dinner cum walk ard cum _____ at orchard. so everything is fine, set, done, chilled, chucked, cleared n cooled. eeeks.. im srsly losing the high over ____. it mks me wna puke when i tink of it. i doubt i'll ever crave for it again after tt girl refuse to finish it n i end up finishin it almst on my own. 2 jugs. it adds calories to me n it's freakin ex. HaHa LOL.

sunday was crapp. that 'thing' in my head kept repeatin itself lik a broken record n i kept seein that phrase over n over n over again for gazillion times, each time it takes a lil courage off my heart n sucks e trust out of me. it sucks. it realy sucks big time. im thrown away at a lost.

"it's alright..cm'on.. don't u trust Him? doesnt it always felt strong to u?".. self consolation didnt quite work. even ALOUD. alicia keys' song ran thru my head.."i don worry cuz everything's gna b alright.." yeah yeah.. another voice contradicts it violently, pushin away e wadever +ve-ness my mind generating. it's easy.. it's easy to say i surrender all.. its easier to sing i surrender all. I did struggle within for a few days.. i prayed every night to recommit everything again to Him, toppin up my 'strength+courage+faith' oil tank as i draw close to Him.

still prayin.. still askin.. still seeking.. for an answer to be confirmed.. for a promise to be reassured.. for a sign to be shown.. for the faith to strengthen. lk wad i said.. it isnt btwn me n some1..its btwn me n God.

im gettin along wif it.. im still learning.. im still trying.. with His help of cuz. it doesnt get a foothold in me tt much for nw.

mon - wed was a norm.

thurs: saw sm1 i didnt wna see. e first glance across n i saw a strangely-familiar view frm far. AH. i hate reminders smtimes. later was e cip thing. climbed 5 storeys. walked a mile. rained alittle.

Radi8-ing laterz.

k CIaOoos. long post. hehee.

the Princess' thoughts ;