My God is beautiful..all the time-

Friday, March 28, 2008

So just like it sparkle

so.. it has been decided.. well I hv decided.

4 waves of outings on 4 days with 4 diff grps of impt pple in my life. (call me lame bt this is so far the best plan)

5th April - BBQ wif e class folks over at my place n smth else b4 tt=) rachhie n i.

11th april - (actual birthdate) pure indulgence n sinful dessert n tea session for all we want with shann n jill.

12th april - AHEMmm~

19th april - claire n ning at Timbre for dinner n late night chill out

ok mayb 13th april night wld b dinner wif family.

disclaimer: u r definitely considered impt too even if u're nt part of the above. don emo. i still love whoever u are=)

n coolios banana-ly.. my class has MANY april babies.. scarily born too within the same week. hohoho. 7th, 10th, 11th, n 12th. how's tt??? COOLLL. consecutive smemore for the last three! omgg.

okieesss. im really excited!! NO pang-sehing last min lest i throw u into the dustbin.

boon refuse to tell me exact answers for e qns i asked her regardin my present.

me: can eat anot?
boon: if u want to..*gives a stupid smile*
me: -.- last yr u bought me a pencil case u also say can eat lor... -.-||
boon: HAHAHAHA... really wad. u wan to eat, eat la!

ERPPPS. LOLLL roflmao.

cy n rach r also actin suspicious. MmmMmm. oh wells.. Smiless=D. ah crap.. i stil hv no idea wad to buy for rachie. oh nt forgttin jill.. i jus read her blog n it makes me excited wnting to noe wad's she is givin me. hehe

i LOVEEEE presents to bitssss! i love receiving gifts. meh hehh. esp on bdays. u gt showered wif gifts or even satisfy ur unreasonable demands jus cuz u're e 'biggest' on tt day=)

im kinda scared of turnin 18 too..altho being 18 opens u to loads of other new things in life such as..driving! HEHE. bt it too brings u a wave of unwanted burdens. dn treat me lk a 18 pls?? haha. im nt readyyyy. k.. nw cmes a dilemma whereby in certain circumstances u wish u're deservingly treated lk an adult. freedom of choice in layman's term. IRONYYY. [when i get my license, i'm so gna creep outta bed one night n secretly spray paint e xiaohuang hot pink while my sister is aslp =P] hohoho*evil grin*

i was lyin in bed last nite while waitin for a call. smehw, memories brought me bck to 4 yrs ago when i was still a 14 yr old kid. i sat there lookin at tt smile on u. hw sweet i thought it was, beamin frm ur face. i didnt tink too deeply on y u were smiling.. jus quietly lookin at u lik hw whenever i hv e chance to. lookin at u in a way so subtle tt i doubt any1 realises. in fact, neither did i noticed. u can say it seemed lik a child lookin at e colourful candies of the huge candy shop across e street thru e glass display. she wasnt tinkin of hving it..all she did was merely in awe of the splendour of colours. nth was on my mind too.. i was jus engrossed in that smile of urs. only moments later my heart felt a lil tighter when i overheard wad made u smile. i sure did feel my heart skipped a beat.. u can call tt a tint of disappointment. nt to e extent of feelin upset nor indifference. similiarly to smth tt jerks u up frm a sweet dream. it all happened in seconds. as i turned my head away, smth tugs at my heart.. wishing tt smeday i may become e reason behind ur smiles=) (k i dk y i've gt this urge to type all this. well.. it's still smth i'll nv forget. n i wldnt hv dared to say these 4yrs ago).

updates!

last sat: out wif shu ai 4 a talk cum dinner cum walk ard cum _____ at orchard. so everything is fine, set, done, chilled, chucked, cleared n cooled. eeeks.. im srsly losing the high over ____. it mks me wna puke when i tink of it. i doubt i'll ever crave for it again after tt girl refuse to finish it n i end up finishin it almst on my own. 2 jugs. it adds calories to me n it's freakin ex. HaHa LOL.

sunday was crapp. that 'thing' in my head kept repeatin itself lik a broken record n i kept seein that phrase over n over n over again for gazillion times, each time it takes a lil courage off my heart n sucks e trust out of me. it sucks. it realy sucks big time. im thrown away at a lost.

"it's alright..cm'on.. don't u trust Him? doesnt it always felt strong to u?".. self consolation didnt quite work. even ALOUD. alicia keys' song ran thru my head.."i don worry cuz everything's gna b alright.." yeah yeah.. another voice contradicts it violently, pushin away e wadever +ve-ness my mind generating. it's easy.. it's easy to say i surrender all.. its easier to sing i surrender all. I did struggle within for a few days.. i prayed every night to recommit everything again to Him, toppin up my 'strength+courage+faith' oil tank as i draw close to Him.

still prayin.. still askin.. still seeking.. for an answer to be confirmed.. for a promise to be reassured.. for a sign to be shown.. for the faith to strengthen. lk wad i said.. it isnt btwn me n some1..its btwn me n God.

im gettin along wif it.. im still learning.. im still trying.. with His help of cuz. it doesnt get a foothold in me tt much for nw.

mon - wed was a norm.

thurs: saw sm1 i didnt wna see. e first glance across n i saw a strangely-familiar view frm far. AH. i hate reminders smtimes. later was e cip thing. climbed 5 storeys. walked a mile. rained alittle.

Radi8-ing laterz.

k CIaOoos. long post. hehee.

the Princess' thoughts ;

Thursday, March 20, 2008

He chose the nails

YAY! tmr is good friday! GOOD FRIDAY! whheeee.

You were bought, not with something that ruins like gold or silver, but with the precious blood of Christ - 1 Peter 1:18-20

Our asking "where is God?" is like a fish asking "where is water? or a bird asking "where is air?" God is everywhere. We cannot find a place where God is not. Yet when God entered time and became a man, he who was boundless became bound. Imprisoned in flesh. Restricted in weary-prone muscles. but stop n think about this. Not once did Christ use his supernatural powers for personal comfort. With one word he cld hv transformed the hard earth into a soft bed, but he didnt. With an arch of his brow, he cld hv paralysed the hand of e soldier as he braided the crown of thorns. but he didnt. He refused to defend Himself when blamed for every sin of every slut and sailor since Adam. He chose to go from needing nothing to needing air, food and water like any other man. But the coolest thing about the One who gave up the crowns of heaven for a crown of thorns.. is that He did if for you. Just for you.

we are the beasts. we are by nature children of wrath. can you live without sin for even an hour? Pure thoughts and actions. Worry-free and anger-free living. In the Bible, God the Beauty becomes the beast so that the beast can become the beauty. Jesus changed places with us and put himself under the curse. The sinless One took on the face of a sinner so that we sinners could take on the face of a saint. God's love never fail to amaze me.

He knew the price of those sins was death. He knew the source of those sins was you, and since he clnt bear the thought of eternity without you, he chose the nails. The same hand that stilled the seas stills your guilt. The same hand that calms the storm of the oceans. And as the hands of Jesus opened for the nail, the doors of heaven opened for you. And He conquered the grave during Easter=). He's a living God.. willing to accept anyone who believes in Him.

*melts in BigDaddy's love and feels safe in His loving arms*

I occurred to me that it actually means so much to me tt i wna do well. i wna do well in sch to give God the glory. i wna shout out n tell e whole world how God is good n really share this piece of good news with pple i love. i wna tell them how God is full of blessings. but perhaps i've limited the ways i can give God the glory to my own interpretations. well.. no doubt tt doin well by God's grace can glorify His name. bt also.. i too can.. by standin strong in midst of failures, discouragement n setbacks with the given strength frm Him. i rmbed readin abt being abt to see situations in life.. be it good or bad.. as an opportunity to bring Him glory=) and keep Him centered in my everything.

ahhhhh. i feel so loved. hehe.

OK updates!

tues: Nice pigging/porking/chilling/slacking out with *=) teehee. ^__^. dip in e pool. beef noodles-ed. tv-ed.

oh there's no pe this week. whee. bonus.

wed&thurs was normal-ish.

k bye. im BORED.

the Princess' thoughts ;

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

What goes around comes around

a very cliche justin timberlake song.. a very cliche phrase. well i tink i've finally knew wad God's tryin to teach me all along.

On the happier note for now..

Mon n tues was SHANN+DEBZ=BESTIES DAY!! wheee. hahaa. okay finally manages to catch up with her n we went SHOPPINGGG. ok I shopped la. haha. (as promised tt i wld blog 'nicely' abt my outing with tt girl.. i shall elaborate more on e details) met her at ard 1.30 at wisma. tt girl has to leave at 5.30 due to her hving to work at 6. POUTS~ oh well.

we went to f21, topshop, den to Schu. i bought a super CUTE pink n grey stripey rounded flats n a zebra-ish leather-ish clutch bag. YAY.

as usual we were catchin up n updatin each other.. i realised hw much this kind of comfortable and totally at ease of being myself feeling will never change no matter hw long we've not met up for e.g a shopping trip. it just stays.. i guess tt's wd true frens are for! it doesnt fade away=) u trust tt e other party holds onto this r/s as much as u do n she values it as high as u do.

taka-ed, pull-n-bear-ed.. didnt manage to shop alot b4 she has to leave. OH n we ate pepper lunch..updating on each other's bf n such. Hohoho=P. SHHHhhhhZzz.

tues was e shopping trip part 2! due to her delayed xray thingy cum checkup at e clinic.. we met only at 2ish. bt we had sufficient time=) far east-ed n i bought a knitted vest n we bought fake nails at an atrociously discounted price of $3.90! where to find!? n its gorgeous.

Zara-ed n i got my formal shirt. YAY-ness=). it was raining e whole day ytd btw. eeks. oh n whenever im out wif her, i feel lk im back to when im 16ish.. all girlish n behaving lik lunatics living in our own world. wahaha LOL. in other words, i love it!! =)

p.s. [ see.. v long n nice n sweet rite.. AHEM.. =P]

tdy was plainly studyin n catchin up with hols work. BOO. shan't talk abt it.

oh oh i almost forgot updates for sunday n sat.

Last Sat: met up with * at 1.30 at boon keng. followed him to music prac where i stoned lik free for an hour plus. SIANN. Lol. well nvms. was kinda weird too sitting there alone. oh the walls outside e lobby are nicely painted=) v nice.

went off at 3ish n headed to cathay to buy bday gifts for *'s mum. shopped n walked ard a little b4 catchin our movie at 5.05pm. STEP UP 2!!!! ok.. i was reallllllyyyyyy excited for the show cuz step up 1 was awesomely good. but EHH.. nt tt it isnt nice but didnt surpass the standard of e previous one. e dance moves were really jaws-dropping n eyes-openingly cool!! e storyline is rather limited. ok i shouldnt go on anymore b4 i spoil e fun of watching =x

walked ard n ate at sushi tei in paragon. hell crowded. bt environment doesnt matter la=P heh.

felt happy n sweet once again spendin time with him=D. its like.. jus by seeing e way he smiles or e way he apologizes.. it melts my heart n disperses the unhappy emotions in my mind 2 seconds ago till i wld only rmbed how much n easily he can make me smile =) it's e simpliest things such as nt being able to hold things against him tt shows me now n then hw much he means to me. smetimes i get disappointed n upset..lamenting abt e unhappiness, bt once he does smth sweet.. POOFF! everything becomes lovey again.

Sun: church-ed at trinity then elim. hmm. trinity's service is pretty good=) sermon was good. it somehow did worked whenever im faced with a doesnt-seem-too-good scenario n like.."whats e big fuss".

went out wif jie later to spotlight cuz she needs to get sme stuffs. ate at secret recipe n i still tink their stuffs sucks. hahaLOL.

ok time for serious stuffs.
now n then the talk we had gets flashed past my mind.. e questions u posed.. e answers i gave.. e pop-ups in my head.. e heart to heart exchanging of thoughts. "to me it seemed lik a whole misunderstanding".. good if it really is one simple misunderstanding. "God is trying to teach u something.. u can run away this time round.. He can still bring the same situation back into ur life or a different one but still in e end trying to teach u the same old thing." i pondered upon that phrase for quite a few days.. n it seemed to occur to me tt it indeed was true. "what goes ard comes ard"; God put me in e same situation but jus in different positions. jus tt nw i was the one feeling tt way. i believe God put you in e same situation n yet different positions too. smetimes wad u feel u're being treated by a fren.. subconsciously or consciously, u're treating sme1 else e same way too. or e fear u're hving now might hv been imposed on sme1 else too by e way u treated them. "hw much does this mean to you".. i tink im still lacking of e courage to take that first step forward.

Lord.. i need ur help. mayb im still nt tryin my best. mayb.. it just wouldnt work out.

the Princess' thoughts ;

Friday, March 07, 2008

Godofwonders

" Insecurity steals peace. And the lack of peace is worrying. More and more im considering that trust is the necessary bedrock for any relationships. Friendship, relationship, leadership, especially all of the above on board a ship. How to say… its like with trust, you believe that the other person is playing his part of the relationship well in unselfish nature even when you cannot see, hear or imagine. Even if its not evident by what you see on the outside.

When we trust, we trust that the lack of action and attention is temporary, and the underlying love is still the same. In other words we trust the person and not the things that may suggests what the person is feeling. Yes sometimes we really trust wrongly. The person just plays our time and us away. But i feel like trusting in such times is not in vain. The bible notes that love washes over a multitude of bad things. That love keeps no record of wrong. All because love is selfless and primarily about the other person." -eric

'wahhhh *smiles on my face*' was my reaction after reading every of his blog post. BOON! u shall agree with me with no hestitation! LOL. our senior over here does hv a good command of english and of cuz the God-given anointing. same same but different. how sme may reflect, think abt things n yet differ in conclusions. Same depth of thinkin can result in vast differing opinions on things, some leave u with many doubts in ur head and questions abt life unanswered while others never fail to make u look at things in a different light, a positive light... more of a God intended version of interpretation. i guess that's the difference i wanna make too=)

so God proved to me that thinkin isnt that bad after all=) as long as u put it into good use. just like the way u take little steps at a time to understand God more n more. Lord.. you've once again amazed me=)

"To consider the treasure above everything else and, with this utmost desire in our hearts, to look intently at everything big and really small that crosses our life. Because everything could be a clue, a clue that would always point us to capture a little gaze of what God was thinking about." "Until we finally learn to let go of logic, rationality, and the overwhelming flow of the rest of the world, and to make ourself open and mallable to God, then maybe we would understand God abit better, and move abit closer to the treasure."

[heavily quoted] jus wna share with u'all!

the Princess' thoughts ;

Monday, March 03, 2008

iwantahappilyeverafter

yoozzz pple. i'm currently in CS22 computer lab in school having my so called Gp lesson. haha. the class is discussing abt cloning issues.. THE class minus me. :P LOL

was bloghoppin juz now. claire FINALLY decided to recreate her little bloggie. yay i miss reading her blog. she uses very amusing english phrasings. waha. well.. actually i faced the same feeling as her, felt that my previous posts were of low imaturity. BUT.. i chose to let them stay..(altho it's funny to re-read them) because i can still laugh at myself n convinced the present me that i've grown from a 'childish' girl=)

i love readin jill's blog.. ok altho it gets me emo n over-thinkin smetimes. bt wad she mentioned were pretty true n appilcable to life. * doesnt lik me to think too much cuz he feels tt it gets me all down n emo n -ve thinking. hmmm. thank God i still tink =) haha.

friday was dental then youth. music was good.. really felt the BigDaddy's presence=) refreshing! den we talked abt friends in e discussion.. how do u define friends n etc. friends.. don wna talk abt friends right now.

i tink i really hv to resort to singing a bday song to myself n light that little candle on the little cupcake for my 18th. SIGGH. ok la mayb not tt sad.. i'll DEFINITELY...
1. eat out wif jill
2. hv a fun day of catchin up wif shann
3. hang out wif claire/ning/rach and we cld plan smth nice.
4. possible quality time wif * (if he has e time)
5. eat with my mum n get my regular ang bao $$
6. chill out wif my buddies in class for a dinner or smth.

ok.. i need to decide. oh well.. leave it aside for now.

is it more painful to watch things u once had.. to watch r/s u once nv to doubt to slip pass ur hands day by day n yet u cant do a thing abt it/noe not wad to do? or is it to suddenly lose it one day? i guess e former hurts more. well.. chinese always say chang tong bu ru duan tong rite?

things are awkward now. soiled. spoiled. hot n cold treatment i realised. wad mummy said one saturday on our way bck hme really HIT me right in e chest tt i tink it's bleeding till now. i've only told two person so far wad she said. to tink tt my mum dont understand things at times or interpret things differently, she somehow observed it..from where i dont noe.. bt i tink she felt it too. i so wanted to agree with the statement of "she has her life n you hv yrs".. bt i jus don feel tt we shld compare ourselves as to mere separate individuals. it's no one's fault.. n i guessed no one will ever noe wad i ever needed. the slight consideration.. the tint of sensitivity cld possible make things different from wad it is right nw.

sat: finally met up wif *! we went shopping ard orchard area. OH b4 tt i had e kidsread thing.. o.0 handy crafting n book reading. hohoho. met him at ard 2ish. mmm nth much. bt it was good afterall=) im smehw 'immuned' to e fact tt we may nt get much time tgt n i don get too sad over it now. YAY nxt week is he's p.o.p! ok. altho i m told tt there's still another 2mths of training for normal unit but.. sighh.. it did felt very sian at 1st n lik -.-.... still need to wait kinda feeling. but oh well.. lik wad he said.."you're stuck wif me =P no choice. " HEHhh:P

ok bck to gp lesson! ending in half an hrs time. wheee. CIAO

the Princess' thoughts ;