Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Thought of e day: library duty sucks
ok.. here i am IN school at THIS time doing DUTY..
someone say wAH LAME pls..
yes 6 to 9 it is i have to station myself behind the counter, along wif Yihui, and do nth. how nice. we have no school tdy btw. its only been pass one hour and i stil have to bear through two more.
nvm.. its goin to be easy since i have the LAPTOPPP! heee. BUTTT.. the darn wireless has to get disconnected every 10 mins. nvm better than nth.
ok time for update on my results day.
MONDAY: was kinda ok when i got to school. GP paper first. i got a C. two grades improvement frm last time so i'm nt goin to complain. my essay pulllleddd me down alot.. if not for it, i would hv scored MUCH better.
Math, Bio, ECons... they were... well great huge improvements esp my maths. THREE grades jumped up. cld hv been four. 1 mark tt's all i need. tt's wad seriously HIT me on the chest lik BOOOOM! .... dishearten-ed.
i thought the nxt paper will be better. On comes chemistry. its a U - undergraded AGAIN.. well majority of the class got tt too.. so im not tt sad abt it. juz puzzled why i juz cant seem to score in it.
moving on.. econs. two grades improvement! could have been three. all i need is 2 marks. somebody say AGAIN.. twice. TWICE a slap in my face with discouragement. i cldn't take it anymore.. i stared at the paper.. smth stared up back at me even more fiercely.. that person's va mark totally don deserved tt grade. NOT AT ALL. didnt do A THINGGGGGGGG AT ALL.. yet got the highhhh grade. WTH? its not fair.
tears welled up in my eyes.. i cld almost hear the devil laughin back at me. *ok i AM a crybaby*.
i stood up.. leaving the lecture hall.. and i cried.
two grades.. cld hv been a two Bs.. i was SOO disappointed at my econs grade.. SO disappointed.. it was the only paper i had confidence in.. it juz has to hit back at me n crush those hopes i carried.. its like going up so high n falling back down again. ya.. u might say its alrdy a C.. many got even lower. hello.. not juz that pls. its the disappointment im facingg. it HURTS.. FREAKING HURTS. somemore its only 2 marks away. so near yet so far. it never hurt that bad.
anguish, frustrations, disappointment..pushed those tears out and i almost cldnt stop. tks to chewyan, boon, rach, mich and teresa. they stood by with me. even though they didnt say much.. im glad they were there. those mere presence counts=) tks guys.
ok.. bio.. another 1 mark from another grade. claps claps. i was calm.. well.. numbed alrdy. so didnt got much emotion in me. (but i tink i really heard the devil's laughter). ok.. whatever.
nevertheless, im learning to THANK GOD n midst of all these disappointment, that i improved for all the subjects..BY ALOT ALOT... to God be the glory. well..chem i improved by 1.5 marks..does tt count? hahaha.
you broke the news to me.. i broke down in tears.. cuz you broke down in tears too. It was that simple reason. That tug in the heart i felt. That sorrow as if translocated to me from you. I felt it in me. Maybe cuz we are sisters.. that special connection we share? I rmbed the times when u argued with mummy.. u cried. Seeing your heartbreak, sensing your sadness.. I cried too. The exact feeling i had that sunday afternoon. If ur heartaches, mine will too. And that stupid radio JUZ HAD to play that stupid "when u're gone" song.. making everything even more sad. -.-.. I heard the strain in ur voice to even break the news to me.. the sorrows in ur eyes i see. In layman terms.. wo de xing hao tong. tt's it.
the Princess' thoughts ;
